“I just need a break…”
How many times have you said that? How many times have you said that, then immediately felt guilty? Can I free you from something? It’s normal to become overwhelmed when caring for a loved one. When caring for a loved one and making sure their basic needs are met, we often forget to care for ourselves, which affects us physically, mentally, emotionally and even spiritually.
According to the national Alliance for Caregivers and the AARP, there are an estimated 44 million Americans providing unpaid care to a family member or loved one and a substantial body of research shows that most of them are unprepared for their role and generally have little to no support.
Last year, my mom came to live with us from the Kansas City area. She had fallen many times in her home and was starting to show signs of physical and cognitive decline. She declined rapidly; to the point my wife and I knew we could not leave her alone in the house while we were away. It was gut wrenching to even consider full time 24/7 care in an assisted living/memory care community and the problem was at the time, my mom didn’t need full-time care, but we had little options in the area we live. While my mom lived with us and as she continued to decline, it became overwhelming and we often thought, “I just need a break…”.
Luckily, my brother and sister-in-law were able to move her with them. My sister-in-law did not work outside the home and was actually a trained caregiver and provided amazing care for her all the way through the end when she passed in their home. You don’t need to look at statistics or polls to know that most, if not all, of us would prefer to “age-in-place”, that is…grow older in the comfort and familiarity of our own homes.
As difficult as it is, and it is DIFFICULT, caring for a family member or loved one nearing the end of their life is actually a blessing. In my case, my mom took such good care of me growing up, that it was an honor to care for her, if even for a short time. I know my brother feels the same way.
If you have a family member of loved one that does not need 24/7 supervised care, but does need assistance with the daily activities of life, please consider the adult day care option. It is a severely needed and largely missing piece of the continuum of care of our seniors in America and most people don’t even know about it. If you would like to know more, please hop over to our Resources page or reach out to us on our Contact page and someone will be happy to have that conversation.
You just might need a break…